“You’re Not The One” Principle

Have you ever gotten screwed over before?  The answer is yes, we all have.  It certainly doesn’t feel good….

There’s one way for sure that you can turn things around quickly anytime you are about to get screwed over or are getting screwed over.   Simply let the other party figure out very quickly that You’re Not The One! 


What is You’re Not The One?


In simple terms you have to show the other party that while they might get away with screwing over other people, you’re not the one to do it to.  That to screw you over would cause them so many problems that it’s not worth it, so they should essentially leave you alone / play by the rules.

Here’s an example from a recent situation I dealt with where I had to deploy the “You’re Not The One” principle:

A friend of mine spent $240 on a new pair of shoes that were supposedly from a high end French company.  After wearing them for 2 hours the buckle on the front fell off!   Upon inspecting the shoes I discovered that they were a French “brand” that was manufactured in China!   Say what!!!!

I went with my friend back to the store to return the shoes.  I had a feeling that my friend would get screwed over by this company so I tagged along just in case.

Sure enough, the clerk went to get the manager on duty to discuss the refund.  The manager advised my friend that no refunds are allowed, only store credits.  Just as my friend was about to accept this bullshit offer I stepped in:

“You just made a big mistake.  You’re doing this to the wrong person.”

The store manager looked me up and down, noticing my beat up jeans and North Face jacket, and said, “oh am I?”

🙂 🙂 🙂 the fun begins 🙂 🙂 🙂

The following steps occurred, which resulted in a full refund of the merchandise and an apology from the owner of the company to my friend:

STEP 1:  I pulled out my phone and took a picture of the store manager, the clerk that sold us the merchandise, and then started to take pictures of the cash register area.

STEP 2:  I advised the store manager that her company was violating Visa’s policy of “clear and conspicuous disclosure” of the terms of the sale.  At the cash register and the wall behind it there was nothing disclosing that “all sales were final” and that NO REFUNDS will be given under any circumstances.  In fact, the only disclosure of the refund policy was located in an obscured corner of the store that was intentionally placed in a location that consumers would miss.  I pointed this out the the store manager and clerk that the location for this policy needed to be at the POS and easily readable (which their policy was not even in the obscured location it was in).

STEP 3:  I advised the store manager of who I am and the industry that I spend most of my time in.   After providing the clerk with a business card, I then asked for the store manager and the clerk’s business cards.  I received those cards and then repeated 2x their full names out loud (the 2 most important words to people are their first and last names.  They are the sweetest sound in the world and can raise the highest pang of anxiety when spoken by a formidable opponent).

STEP 4:  I advised the store manager and clerk that in 72 hours when people Googled their store and/or their names, that they would read about this all over the first page of SERPs in Google, Yahoo, and Bing.  I advised that my method of disseminating this information would make it stick for a very long time to come.

STEP 5:   I advised the store manager that we were going to file a dispute with Visa and that we were leaving the shoes behind.  I advised that we would win the dispute plus their store would get hit with a penalty.

STEP 6:   I advised the store manager that we would pursue a small claim against their store in the rare event that we lost the dispute with Visa.  As part of our small claim I would have my legal department subpoena the records of everyone else they did not issue a refund to but received a “store credit” and that I would attempt to start a class-action lawsuit against them.

STEP 7:   I procured the spelling of the First/Last name of the owners of the store.   This would get added to the aforementioned complaints.

STEP 8:   I gave the store manager an out.  And this is KEY.  You have to always give the party that is screwing you over the ability to make it right now that they discovered who you are and that you will take them to the mat.

I simply requested a refund for the broken merchandise and we could all go on with our lives.  I told the store manager and clerk that I wished them no harm and that they had simply chosen the wrong person to do this to.

The store manager replied “Give me your number and I’ll talk to the owners about this.  Leave the shoes behind.”

An hour later my friend got a refund and an apology.


Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.   All too often people in positions of power will try to take advantage of people in this world.  At some point or another we’ve all been taken advantage of.  It hurts and is simply not fair…yea yea, life’s not fair.  Well guess what, you can level the playing field when you have the knowledge, know-how, and flaming tenacity to make it right.

You’ve gotta show people that “You’re Not The One” to screw.  Here’s a few pointers on how to apply the “You’re Not The One” Principle:

1.  Have a deep understanding of potential recourse you can take to make it unpalatable for the opposing side to screw you over.

2.  Always maintain a cool air and stay professional.   Don’t ever curse, threaten, or break a law during the process.

3.  The squeaky wheel gets the oil.  If there are other squeaky wheels, you must turn into THE SQUEAKIEST WHEEL.

4.  If you cannot negotiate up front with your opponent, stop negotiating.  Win through actions and leave a door open to settle the matter at all times.

5.  In the event that you are not able to come to a settlement with you opponent, crush them totally through persistent actions (legal of course).  This will build your reputation as someone that takes things to the mat and never relents.    But note that after you have won stop all actions and move on.  It is never wise to keep going after you have gotten what you want.


Rich Gorman is an internet entrepreneur. His primary focuses are on direct response offers and SaaS models. When not working Rich enjoys spending time with his family.